Roaming About

A Life Less Ordinary

The Desperate House Sitter

July 2018, Newburyport, Massachusetts

“When I come back in six months, it will be winter again,” Mark says, as we pack up in order to take the Amtrak train back from Boston to Santa Fe, New Mexico.

“I’m not coming with you next time,” I reply, “I hate being here in the cold.”

“I don’t blame you,“ Mark responds. “We will make sure to get a house sit by then, so you can stay out west.”

November 2018, Ojai, California

“We really need to find a house sit for January soon. You have to book your plane tickets before they get too pricey,” I say to Mark. We’ve been keeping an eye on sits in Southern California and Arizona on Mind My House and House Sitters America, the two websites we are members of. Nothing decent showed up.

“As long as we don’t know where you and I will be the second week of January, I can’t book any flights,” he says. I know. We need to do something soon, or risk a decision about his departure city. For days I research alternatives. I could boondock in Zesty, but Mark doesn’t like the idea of me being alone in the middle of nowhere without services. Not having unlimited electricity and internet would make it impossible to accept translation projects and work on my book.

We consider a pay campground for twelve days or so. Incredible how expensive those are. I might as well fly back with Mark. It’s cheaper and I’m guaranteed hot showers, WiFi, and electricity. How about staying with friends? Not really an option for that long; we wouldn’t feel good about it. House sitting makes most sense. We reach out everywhere: bulletin boards in Ojai, Facebook groups and personal pages, friends… We even post an ad on Craig’s List. The two reactions we receive from that are “You guys are freeloaders, not wanting to pay for utilities,” and “You won’t find anything in Arizona, it’s the high season.”

“Maybe we should sign back up for Trusted House Sitters,” I suggest.

“They’re so expensive. And, we don’t like them, remember? They don’t care as much about house sitters as home owners, their website is annoying, and they don’t email real-time listings anymore.”

“I know. On principle, I don’t want to give them any money anymore. But they have the biggest selection of house sits.”

“True. And the biggest competition among house sitters.”

We don’t know what else to do and pay $90 (with a 25% discount code) for a one-year Trusted House Sitters membership. On their site, we had seen an interesting sit in Pasadena (near Los Angeles) for three weeks the end of December into January. If a sit works out, it’ll still be our cheapest solution.

I apply for the house and dog sit in Pasadena. It’s in walking distance from the Rose Bowl. A bonus!

“She replied that she’s interested in having us,” I yell to Mark a day later. Yes! “She says that we would need a permit to park in the street as our camper is too tall for the overhanging trees in her driveway. And, she will pay for the permit if we apply for it,” I add.

Hours of Mark’s research and multiple phone calls lead from one discovery to the next. Over-sized vehicles, as our Zesty is according to Pasadena rules, are not allowed to park on the street. Only for loading purposes and less than 72 hours, for a hefty fee. The grace period during the Rose Bowl parade is not long enough for our entire stay. Darn. We have to decline the sit.

“Now what?” I ask Mark.

“We’ll wait and see.”

And that’s what we do for the next week.

“There’s a house sit in Monterey for almost a month in January,” Mark tells me a few days later. I check out the ad. I love Monterey and don’t mind going back.

“Not very warm there, but at this point, I’d take it,” I say. “Did you see the dog? It’s a beautiful Border Collie. I’ll have fun with him while you’re gone!”

I immediately apply with a personalized email. The following morning, the home owner writes back. She’s interested in having us. Before we continue the discussion, I double-check whether there is parking for Zesty. Nope. Her condo association doesn’t allow RVs in their parking lot. “And,” she adds, “you wouldn’t be able to maneuver a van up the hills and the narrow streets around here anyway.” I swear I mention in my profile that we drive around in a 19ft camper van that’s 11ft tall…

Mark and I are running out of options. Luckily, a perfect sit has just popped up. Four weeks in Tucson, Arizona during January. I get on it! I write my letter, mention our 5-star reviews, and show why we are the perfect sitters for this assignment. Mark checks the flights from Tucson to Boston. Not as affordable as from San Diego, but beggars can’t be choosers. We are the first ones to apply. Are we too eager? Too desperate? The home owner writes back quickly and seems a bit overwhelmed. Did I just ruin our last chance?

Impatient and full of anticipation, we wait for news. A few days later, we are asked about a good time for a Skype interview. “Right now!” I want to scream. But it doesn’t work that way. We schedule the call on a Sunday afternoon and plan our weekend around it. One foot in the door. It’s now or never.

The home owner leads the conversation. It’s her first time to get house sitters for her three dogs and beautiful, big house. So many similarities with our current Ojai sit! Yes, we have experience with yard irrigation. We have pet sat for old dogs (and young dogs). We have taken care of big houses (and small ones). We can come a couple of days ahead of time, exactly when our sit in San Diego ends. We have all five- star reviews. We will be indoors most of the time since we work, so the dogs will get plenty of attention. We tick all the boxes. It feels like this is meant to be.

Two questions remain:

“Does our camper van fit on the driveway?” Yes.

“Is it OK that Mark would leave for ten days or so, while I take care of the dogs, house, and property?” “I assume that would work,” comes the answer. We say goodbye and wait for confirmation.

“I think she will choose us,” Mark says. “I don’t see a reason why she won’t.” I’d like to believe him, but that night I don’t sleep well.

“She didn’t pick us,” Mark startles me first thing the following morning.

“What do you mean?” I ask, eyes barely open. “How do you know?”

“I checked the listing and it shows that the position is filled. She didn’t pick us. I can’t believe it!”

I can’t believe it either and all my hope for a house sit disappears. I keep wondering why she didn’t pick us. How could she not pick us? We’re such responsible people… everybody always wants us back for future house sits… it’s obvious we love dogs… we have excellent reviews. I really wanted to be there in January… Maybe she doesn’t like the fact we “live” in a van? Maybe she prefers a retired couple?

In the afternoon, the official “rejection letter” arrives. It had been a close call, apparently. But the owner chose another couple, “because Mark has to leave,” “and the other couple is coming from less far away.” Less far away? It would take us only six hours to get from San Diego to Tucson! Nobody else has had issues with me being by myself for a little while… Regardless, that seems to be the main reason we weren’t picked. Utterly disappointed and quite surprised, we appreciate the explanation. I’d still be wondering why we were rejected otherwise.

This Tucson house sit in January would have been perfect for us for more than one reason. I plan to finish work on my book in a comfortable environment, I am in desperate need for me-time, my brother flies into Phoenix (only a 1.5 hour drive from Tucson) from Belgium for business, we have friends camping in the area, other friends will travel through as well, the weather is ideal, and it just looks like an amazing place to be for a month, with adorable dogs.

We need another plan.

December 2018, Ojai, California

We book two sets of flights from San Diego to Boston for January 9th, 2019. I would return three days before Mark to provide some me-time and to start a one week house sit in San Diego. I hope I’m done moping about this “failed” house sit in Tucson by then.

Over the following days, a few shorter-term house sits in Southern California for January show up. We stick to plan. We missed our one opportunity.

January 2019, Newburyport, Massachusetts

It’s ice cold. I’m uncomfortable. This is why I don’t want to be here. It’s hard to concentrate.

But, if it wasn’t for the Tucson house sit falling through, I wouldn’t have been able to spend time with Mark’s family and twin nieces…

Lily, Mark, Liesbet, and Cera

… celebrate his mom’s 83rd birthday…

… drive through freezing rain and a blizzard to see our Massachusetts friends…

… and return to our two sweet Italian Greyhounds from last winter in San Diego. Do you remember Frida and Elvis?

Plus, it gave us a chance to meet up with our friend Amy and her sweet dog Skylos again. And, to talk to a couple about a potential future job/intriguing move in person.

Conclusion:

Don’t get too cocky about yourselves as house sitters, 5-star reviews or not, raving references or not, being desperate or not! And, don’t believe in perfect sits. To make things happen the way we prefer, we don’t count on others. We get back in Zesty and hit the road. Deserts of California and Arizona, here we come.

Looking for a leak in the air conditioning unit – almost ready to go again!

48 Comments

  1. Oh, boy, I was sweating that out right along with you! So sorry your Tucson assignment did not work out; it must be especially frustrating when you feel you are perfect for the job. Hope the next few months find you in warm, productive surroundings!

    • I’m still trying to figure out fate’s reason for boycotting this sit, Lexie. Maybe it’ll become clear at some point this year. Although, at this point, I’m ready to move on, as the sit would have been finished today. We are pretty flexible and I usually move on easily, but this one lingered for a while.

      Thanks for the warm wishes. 🙂 Heading to the desert again on Friday and at some point in February we will travel and boondock in Arizona. Let me know whether you have any plans to come out west this spring!

  2. … and we wouldn’t have been able to have lunch together! I’m looking forward to hearing more about your meeting regarding the “potential future job/intriguing move.” That sounded interesting! Maybe we can plan another get together before you two get too far away.

    • That’s right, Janis! I should have added that to my little list as well. If only I’d taken a photo of our meeting. 🙂 You know more than most about this potential move and job. No decisions made yet. We are in the gathering information stage. We’ll see what happens. Heading back to Borrego Springs on Friday.

  3. I definitely would have chosen you!
    I love your resilience and your focus on the silver lining.
    I too look forward to reading more about your “potential future job move”!

    • Oooh, thank you Donna. Let’s hope there is more to say about this potential “new episode” in our lives in the near future. If it doesn’t pan out, this will be all to it. 🙂

  4. The house owner was a fool not to choose you. Her loss anyway. In any case in spite of the winter difficulties there was plenty of heart warming moments..Therefore all is well. You are such an amazing couple, resilient , resourceful and positive. Good luck with the new job prospects 🙂

    • Thanks, Gilda. If we have learned one thing house sitting, it’s that no home owner is the same and they all have their “qualification reasons”. “There must have been a good reason it didn’t work out,” we then think. Moving on from this one was a bit harder, though. All good now. 🙂

  5. LIesbet this is such a well written post.. you are SUCH a good storyteller/writer! I must say I could relate to a lot of it as we have been on the road now since end of November because our house has been booked with home exchangers and air bnb guests. It sounded like a good idea, but we being on a budget ourselves we have done a fair amount of scrambling and sweating it out to make it work without breaking the bank.

    The thing is, it always does work out. The universe provides if we just trust that things work out the way they are supposed to work out, then it does. Especially for those of us with good karma from kindness to animals haha. I really believe that.

    I must say it surprised me that they would not select you just because Mark would not be there for a few days, I cannot see why that would make any difference, but hey, people have their own logic and reasoning I guess for all sorts of decisions. You guys are OBVIOUSLY great house and animal sitters!!!!

    Peta

    • Thank you for the compliment, Peta. Once in a while I like to write pieces like these. They’re written in the way my memoir is. 🙂

      I can imagine being on the road for you guys for this long can be a challenge. It always is, especially when needing to be resourceful and definitely when being on a budget. It’s rewarding as well, but you will be so happy to return home.

      I’m glad things do work out in the end usually. I mostly believe in karma and fate, but when I feel something isn’t working out or I don’t understand why something I looked forward to doesn’t work out, I have a harder time with the “it’s meant to be” approach. 🙂

      You’re right about different people having different priorities or reasons to act a certain way. Usually, when a house sit doesn’t work out, we believe there must be a reason for it. So, we will do the same in this situation. Maybe something awful would have happened while we’d be there? Who knows? Ready to move on now. 🙂

      Enjoy the rest of your time in India.

  6. Gosh, I chewed my nails down to the quick reading this, Liesbet. I was so hoping you’d get the Tucson gig, but it seems to have all worked out well, despite the cold. I’m happy you were able to celebrate with Mark’s mom. She is so beautiful! I hope I look that great at 83…wow! I’ll look forward to hearing more about the potential job.

    • Hi Jill! I hope my mother-in-law reads your comment. 🙂 But, from what I know, she usually just scans the photos of my blog. On her behalf, thank you for the compliment. She is a strong and fit person for her age. Her dad lived to be 99. The good genes of the family.

      We will see what happens in regards to this potential new opportunity. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned anything yet, in case it doesn’t pan out…

  7. Good on you for staying resilient and keeping your sense of humour., Liesbet. Despite the cold, wintry weather in Boston, time with family, friends and the three dogs brought you many smiles, hugs, and cuddles. Good luck with the new job prospects!

    • Thanks for the wishes, Natalie. We, human beings, are flexible and resilient. Luckily, every opportunity does bring advantages and smiles one way or another. Having something not work out, makes us stronger and I think it’s important for me to go through that once in a while as to not get too spoiled. 🙂

  8. Sorry that was such a convoluted mess and nothing panned out. But you did have a good time despite the cold.

    • Oh, but how we hate the cold, Alex. 🙂 “Never again do we go back to New England in the winter!” That was the consensus from both of us. And, we mean it this time. Unless there’s an emergency like last year, of course.

  9. It appears that putting up with the seriously cold weather had some worthwhile benefits. There’s nothing like family time, especially with an 83 year old mother. Looking forward to photos of the desert in bloom. Enjoy!

    • Being with family and friends is precious, Leslie. I was just hoping to postpone that until the summer. Yes, I know, we are too spoiled. Our bodies are weak and can’t handle cold. Next winter, we will try even harder to stay warm. 🙂 The desert in bloom would be a nice treat. We will see what happens.

  10. I had no idea it was so hard to find a house sit. We are thinking about doing some house sitting next winter outside of our little house sitting circle in Cabbagetown. I don’t want to have to sign up with the obviously “evil” Trusted House Sitters (and spend so much money), but maybe we will.

    Too bad about Tucson – it is such a wonderful little city. Those homeowners don’t know what they missed!

    • Hi Duwan! If you don’t have too much of a time frame, are flexible in where you want to be, and they don’t need to line up perfectly, it’s not that hard to find house sits. We’ve just become picky over the years, wanting to be in warm areas over the winter. That’s when a lot of sits are available in Canada. On the opposite spectrum, over the summer there are a lot of sits in Mexico, Florida, and Arizona. 🙂 In general, the house sitting assignments have worked out perfectly for us. It’s when you start “counting” on finding something in a certain area, during a certain period of the year (Southern California or Arizona for the month of January for example :-)) that it gets a bit more tricky. Especially in areas where campers are frowned upon.

      There are other house sitting sites that do the job nicely and that are much cheaper. Check out this post I wrote three years ago: https://www.roamingabout.com/how-to-find-the-right-house-sit/

  11. Oh dear, that all sounds very stressful! But you enjoyed good family time instead and, as they say here, “what’s for ye’ll no’ go by ye”.

  12. You show that life on the wild side, even with rejection, is worthwhile. You would have missed so many memorable family times otherwise.

    Just yesterday I remembered a horrible, horrible experience in Ukraine with a host. I couldn’t imagine anything good could come out of it. However, one of my most ardent followers read the story I wrote about it in a memoir anthology. That led to my meeting her at a writers’ retreat where I was introduced to authors who have since served as beta readers. You get the point. 🙂

    Bad becomes good – often – in the end!

    • These are the kinds of stories I love to hear and read, Marian! Thanks for putting this in perspective. I’ve made it a point to figure out why my January had to happen as it did. I usually don’t do this and let fate decide everything and move on, but in this situation, I am curious. Who knows, maybe I will write something substantial about this and one thing leads to another… I do write a lot as it is, so it’s not unimaginable. You got me curious about that Ukraine story!

  13. It sounds like it was meant to be this way Liesbet and being present to celebrate the 83rd birthday of Mark’s mother, after the serious surgery and health scares she was blessed to survive, is very special 🙂💖 xxx

    • You are right, Xenia. Mark’s mom was very happy we threw a party for her and appreciated us organizing it and taking care of it all. 🙂 Otherwise, it would probably have been a pretty dull birthday.

  14. I find that strange that they did not pick you just because you would be alone for a week. However, I am a single lady and I get house sits no problem. Did those people specify that they wanted a couple?? I know it is frustrating some times with the amount of competition on THS , however so far I like THS. I see a lot of people bad mouthing them but I have gotten some great house sits from them.

    I have been looking at class B RV’s and camper vans. Good to know that some of them can create a problem in cities. I guess for now I will keep looking at the smaller versions since I plan to house sit for awhile. I would have thought yours is small enough for parking to not be a problem but I guess I was wrong.

    • Hi Sue! We do advertise ourselves as a couple, but this Tucson home owner did not specifically advertise she wanted a couple. I think what happened is that she had two sets of people that were comparable and she decided to go with the couple that would be there together, the entire four weeks. I also think that she wasn’t totally confident having house sitters yet, since it was the first time she would use them. Maybe she felt more comfortable going with an older couple?

      I’m glad you are having great experiences with THS. We’ve gotten sits through them over the years as well, which all worked out perfectly. I just prefer working with and through the other sites better, the way they are set up, cheaper, and more personable. And, there is less competition.

      We’ve traveled all over the US with our van and only California has caused us problems with their rules of “oversized” vehicles, and only this year. Our length is never the problem, since it’s basically the same as a car. It’s the 11ft height. If you find house sits where the house has a driveway without low trees, this would not be a problem. Not sure you can go much smaller than our van and be comfortable… Maybe the Volkswagen bus? Plenty of those around. 🙂

  15. Gosh, this was like reading the opening to a great novel, Liesbet. I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. There’s no point thinking back and asking ‘what if?’ because that time has gone and is in the past. Sure, you had the cold (which I know you dislike), but look at all the happy faces in those photos. You had quality time which you used to its (and yours) full advantage, and it’s something you can look back at with happy memories.

    • Hi Hugh! I’m glad you liked the writing style of this last blog. It’s the same voice I use in my memoir. 🙂 I love your positivism. It’s something I’ll work on in 2019. In general, I’m a believer of everything happens for a reason as well. I just haven’t seen the reason yet in this particular situation. I’ll keep my eyes peeled! 🙂 Yes, it was nice to be with friends and family, but summer is a more pleasant time to do so.

  16. Wow, what a saga, Liesbet! I cringed when I read how Zesty couldn’t be parked on the street, etc. Things have a funny way of working out, and sounds like you packed a lot of good things into your family holidays! I’m happy we have options for house/dog sitters with some folks from our church. I dont think I could go through the competition, LOL! Looking forward to your next adventure!

    • I’m glad to read that finding pet sitters for the pups is working out through your church, Terri. Such a worry off your mind when needing some care taking for them. It was nice to see our family, but unfortunately such times can’t be called holidays, as I worked every weekday to make some book progress and some money. And we care for my in-laws while there as well. 🙂

  17. Hi Liesbet! As you know I just wrote a blog post about what it is like to use pet sitters like you and Mark. That woman who didn’t pick you both won’t know what she missed!!! I would love to have you come stay at our place AND you can always park Zesty on our street. We have just secured our fourth sitter for this summer and I absolutely love this service. So far every single couple we’ve had was wonderful and our dog (and house) has been well cared for. But who knows exactly why we picked the people we picked? Thom and I usually look through the applications and we’ve been able to narrow it down to about 3 or 4. We actually prefer couples but this next sit is just a single man who is familiar with our part of the country and that helped tip us over. I also check everyone out on social media and then we usually SKYPE for about an hour before we decide–and so far so good. And because I tend to believe there are “no real accidents” in life, it just might turn out that it was BEST that you didn’t sit for her for whatever reason. Of course knowing you, you’re already on to your next adventure. And if you want to visit–just let us know. You can always park on our street!!! ~Kathy

    • Thanks for the repeated invitation to take care of your home and Kloe, Kathy. We would certainly love to do that when it fits in our plans and our route. 🙂 La Quinta is a beautiful and comfortable place to be in winter! And, we know from experience that there is plenty of space for Zesty.

      It looks like you guys are becoming pros getting house sitters. Congrats on another successful selection. You’re certainly doing all the right things, including the Skype call, to secure a responsible, caring sitter and get rid of any worries.

      Thanks for the “confirmation” that this sit probably would have had an issue somehow. It’s what I like to believe as well. 🙂 Now that February has started, we have moved on and are indeed embracing new adventures. We are back in Anza-Borrego Desert State Park with our van, where I’m trying to work at the library during the week. No more house sits in our future. Who knows what’s next?

  18. Hi Liesbet,
    I’m sure that there was some long-term reason that you had difficulty with this house-sit…but it did get you back in “my neck of the woods” and helped you reconnect with family and friends. As Donna says, you have a great way of seeing that silver lining.
    I understand about the cold and snow, though, that is why we are here where it is warm!

    • I love your thinking, Nancy! And, I’m kind of keeping a loose eye on what the long-term reason for this “rejection” might have been. 🙂 I’m glad you are enjoying warmer climes and you don’t have to deal with the New England winters. We’re certainly happy to be back in Southern California, although it has been unseasonably cold and rainy. The desert plants are happy, though!

  19. Wow, what a plot twist! I was sure something would come through in the nick of time to “save” you. But I like that it didn’t, as far as this post went. How you handled the disappointment and made the best of things was inspiring.

    It’s also a great reminder for all of us not to assume we can’t be replaced or passed over. Honestly, though, it’s her loss. I’m sure it was a really difficult choice and she was down to using very minor things to help her make a decision.

    • Amen to thinking we are so darn special, JH. We are not. 🙁 I think experiences like these make us see things in perspective. While I’m technically an adult, I still mope a lot when things go wrong. I think that’s because I’ve been spoiled most of my life. Dealing with disappointments and making the best of it is all part of maturing. 🙂

      • Well, you ARE that special. If she doesn’t recognize that, it’s her issue, not yours.

        I thought I’d gotten pretty bulletproof when it came to rejection, but losing out on a writing residence last year really threw me. I was crushed. The woman encouraged me to apply again, and I might, but I’m also coming to accept that there’s a certain type who always get these residencies, and I’m not it. And again, it’s their loss.

        • Well said! And, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the next time you apply for a writer-in-residence program. You deserve it and you would crush it!

  20. I read your post, Liesbet, like it was a suspense novel. I was not aware how complicated House Sitting can be for someone. I look forward to hearing the rest of your story.

    • This whole house sitting lifestyle… it all depends on how you approach it, I guess. Mark and I never had an “issue” before, but we weren’t too picky and could fit the sits in with some traveling in our van. It’s only when you want something during a specific period or in a specific place (like us in January) that things REALLY would have to work out. I have learned that much. We’ve stopped house and pet sitting for now, realizing that the van life offers us more freedom. Working from the camper and from libraries is less attractive and easy, however. 🙂

  21. I was saying ‘yes’ to myself so often when I read this post Leisbet. This past year it seemed easy for us to get housesits and for the upcoming few months, nothing seems to be coming through for us. I keep telling myself there must be a reason for not getting some of the sits we were very interested in, and am looking forward to what is ahead (fingers crossed). Good luck to the two of you in finding some exciting housesitting gigs.

    • Hi LuAnn!

      I’m so sorry to read that you’re having a hard time finding house sits these days as well. I have noticed that the competition has become harder. So many people do this now. I have also come to realize that the more you want something to work out – whether it is to find a house sit in a specific place or during a specific time, or having a productive day at the library, or snatching an agent – it rarely seems to happen. I think Mark and I have to go back to our “roots” of going with the flow and taking everything as it happens, since expectations don’t get us anything. Tough to make that switch again, but I believe if we can all do that, we won’t be as disappointed.

      Good luck with finding some amazing upcoming sits. It might just be a temporary glitch and I do like to believe that things happen (or don’t happen) for a reason. As for Mark and I, we have stopped house sitting for now.

  22. Winter weather is a lot easier to get used to if you are in a place as winter gradually settles in and you are able to acclimatize to it, than if you fly into the middle of it from a warm place. Also, having a wardrobe of really warm clothes, boots, and parkas helps, which you and Mark might not have, seeing as you would need them so infrequently. Years ago, when I moved from Vancouver, BC to Regina, Saskatchewan in December, I just about froze as I did not have appropriate winter wear.

    Jude

    • I agree with the graduality of an approaching winter, Jude. I often wonder how I could cope with the Belgian winters when growing up, but they didn’t just arrive like they have been doing the last fifteen years of my life. The most shocking times were when we left our boat in the tropics to visit Mark’s family in New England. But, that didn’t happen as often as these years. Somehow, we always end up there in the coldest month of the year.

      And, you are correct about us not having the right winter gear. When we get cold, we put on an extra sweater. That doesn’t cut it, as you know. Luckily, we both have wool hats and a winter coat (well, Mark wears his old sailing jacket and I was given a dawn coat by a friend). But in New England we do need more. Our solution is to go outside as little as possible. If we were to live longer than a few weeks in a place like this (we both hope that never happens), we’d have to invest in warmer clothing.

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